How two people with no kids clean up vomit. . .

So Sunday was a learning experience for Jeremy and I. We were in Primary and the lesson was on families and there was some type of object lesson using an apple and how the apple had a core but if you don’t have the core everything falls apart. Each of the kids got a tiny slice of apple to take with them to class. Ian was mostly just squeezing his slice in his hand and sort of nibbled on it here and there. We did not understand what this was because usually he devours the treats we give him. He kept taking these tiny little bites of the apple and had broken it into smaller pieces and so we started encouraging him to just pop a whole piece in his mouth. Finally, we got him to put this small little piece in his mouth and just eat it instead of play with it. Then he started gagging. But he wasn’t gagging like choking on the apple gagging he was gagging like I don’t like this gagging and I thought he was going to spit it out. I told him he better just swallow it and not spit it out. He continued the forced gagging. And then it happened. Right in front of my eyes. Projectile vomiting. I am seeing a counselor to overcome the images that are burned into my retinas. Then we sat and stared at each other, all three of us, just staring, thinking what the….just happened? Finally we came out of our haze and Ian informed us he doesn’t like apple skin. Information that would have been good prior to eating half an apple slice and vomiting up your last two meals. So I went and got the Primary President and she found this special puke powder in the janitorial closet that we poured on the floor which apparently dries it up and then we swept it up and threw it away. Then Jeremy vacuumed over the spot and then sprayed it down with some type of disinfectant cleaner we found. And that my friends, is how two people with no kids clean up vomit.

Young Women’s Basketball

I love church sports. And by love I mean LOVE. I know, I am a big nerd but I have always loved church sports, any of them really.

I think the first thing I played was Young Women’s volleyball and I wasn’t even strong enough to serve the ball over the net so I would grunt like a tennis player and hope that it made it over. You would think this would have been a bit embarrassing or humiliating for me but no, I loved it!

Then of course there was basketball which I will take to the grave the pride I feel about my church basketball record. My claim to fame is winning the region championship by defeating the mighty Charleston team; and also that our team tried to figure out a way to dunk in a game. My sister, Janene, was the tallest person on the team so she would run down, fall on her hands and knees in front of the hoop and then we would jump off her back in our attempt to dunk. It was awesome.

When I went to college I played every intramural sport I could and since it was BYU-Idaho intramurals it was basically the equivalent of church sports. We were back-to-back champions in basketball, another fact that I am very proud of and would claim on a resume if Jeremy would let me. My singles’ ward here in Salt Lake even had basketball and volleyball where I again was on a champion basketball team. So you can see by my stellar record why I love church sports so much, right? I know, it is totally dorky to get this excited about church sports but I am a dork and I don’t want to be in the closet on this issue anymore.

Anyway, the actual reason for this post is because I am coaching the Young Women’s basketball team in my ward. It is AWESOME! I love it. It is the highlight of my week…literally. Apparently sometime in the last 10 – 15 years church sports have become not as cool as I remember them being. We only have two girls from our ward who show up and only about 10 girls in the whole stake so they don’t even have teams you just show up on Thursday nights and play. Last week we didn’t even have enough girls for two teams to play so the other coach and I had to play. I use the word had when it should be GOT to play. It was amazing. I was having so much fun. Don’t worry I wasn’t one of those creepy old people trying to be an all-star beating up on little kids. I think everyone had a blast and yes, my team won!

It is my personal goal to make church sports cool again. I don’t quite know how I am going to do it, but I am going to do it.