The Belly Cast

Recently, I’ve been searching the online world trying to put together a list of what exactly we need for these babies coming our way.  It is a bit overwhelming.  Most the time I don’t even know where to start.  I feel like most of the stuff out there is probably not all that necessary and would just get in the way in our small house.  I was browsing Amazon and luckily I stumbled upon this gem.  I honestly didn’t know this existed but my world has now changed and I am better because of it (if you are one of those all natural, pregnancy is beautiful, love your body people, do NOT keep reading, you WILL be offended).

The Basic Pregnancy Belly Cast Kit.  With a measly $20 this bad boy can be yours and the memories you will save will be endless.  How is this even a thing?  And don’t worry, other Amazon shoppers have posted pictures to give a better idea of how great this product is.

 And direct from the customer reviews:

“My doula applied the balm and the strips while I sat in a chair.”
I’m not super familiar with the role of a doula but I’m going to go out on a limb here and say you aren’t paying her/him enough.

“My wife and I had a great time doing this. Very simple and easy to use. An awesome bonding experience. I definitely recommend this as an activity and it makes an awesome keepsake.”
One word for you: hobby. And a few more words – get one.

“I had my 75 year old grandmother help me do mine and looks fantastic.”
Elder abuse is a crime that we do not talk about nearly enough in this country.

“i had some leftover that i still use 4 months later :)”
What exactly are you still using it for?

“There are people who do this for pregnant ladies and I wish I had just done that.”
Those people are called pedophiles.

“We painted ours blue for our baby boy and had hospital visitors sign it. Now it's a souvenir of the birth of our little one!”
Where exactly did the visitors sign? I think the souvenir you bring home from the hospital is supposed to be the baby.

“My husband and I have fun with these kits and it creates great keepsakes for the kid.”
Yes, I can see how any teenage boy would love to bring his buddies over to his house and show them this. “And this is how big my mom’s boobs are”.

“I really treasure my cast though and it was worth the pain to have it hanging on the wall!”
Is it worth the pain caused to everyone else having to look at it hanging on the wall?

“What a great product to use to capture the memory of a special moment in time you will never have again. :) I used ribbon and confetti from our wedding to decorate and added a 3d ultrasound picture of his face to it and it turned out awesome!”
Sounds awesome (sense sarcasm)!

“Pictures just don’t do your pregnant body justice! This is an excellent way to have a three dimensional, tactile remembrance of your belly.”
Isn’t “pictures just don’t do your body justice”, and “the camera adds ten pounds” cliché terms people use to justify why they look terrible in a picture? Clearly a three dimensional mold will put that to rest!